Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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