She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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