How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Congratulations! We have a period
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