is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
