whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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