marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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