Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize