your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
