I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
