i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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