When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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