their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
