I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
