Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
