When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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