i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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