i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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