"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
