xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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