everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
