okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
