So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
