Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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