I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
