he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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