Whoa Z and x make the same sound
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
