I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
either way he was missing a nipple.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
