dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
