Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
