I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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