You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
