I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize