I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
