DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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