Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
