operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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