Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
