I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
