We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
