everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
