Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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