College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
