how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
pray to the hookup gods
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
