Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
