break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm both gender and math confused
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
