I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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