It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
