Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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