i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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