literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
