Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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