Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You're like the curious george of whores
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
