ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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