College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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