hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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