I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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