so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
