i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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