we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
