even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
