I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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