she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
