Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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